A division of the Amalgamated Sundries Corporation · Look for the owl on the label

Owl Mutual

We Never Blink

Life & perch insurance for the watchful, the watched, and the up-all-night.
You are already expected.

The Underwriter Will See You Now

The underwriter. It has already seen you.

Schedules of Coverage

Twig

2¢ / MONTH
  • Perch failure, ordinary
  • Wind allowance, modest
  • One sympathetic look per annum

Bough

5¢ / MONTH
  • Perch failure, all causes
  • Mobbing by songbirds
  • Twelve-hour-stare fatigue
  • Sandwiches: included

Granary Eave

9¢ / MONTH
  • Comprehensive, tuft to talon
  • Board and perch, guaranteed
  • Your file: yours, sealed, period
  • Nobody docks your pellets. Nobody.

Every policy is written by an owl, for anyone. Owls know what it costs to sit out all night being useful.
Ask your employer one question: am I covered?

Filing a Claim

FORM P-1 — FELL ASLEEP
It happens to the best watchers. The Mutual does not judge; the Mutual was also up all night.
FORM P-2 — MOBBED BY SONGBIRDS
Attach no evidence. We have seen it. We see everything. That is the whole difficulty of our lives.
FORM P-3 — EXISTENTIAL
For the watcher who has begun to wonder who watches him. Processed gently, with soup.

"An eye on a pole is a threat. An eye that signed a mutual policy with you is a neighbor. The difference is the paperwork, and we are very good at the paperwork."

— from the founding charter, wing-copied down the whole line