A division of the Amalgamated Sundries Corporation · Look for the owl on the label

Net contents: several · Packed where caught · Batch No. 7

Grandmother Shoals'

Fog-Cured Sardines

Aged in genuine harbor fog · Every tin certified by a lighthouse keeper

The tin pictured is a representation. The actual tin is with Grandmother, and so are its contents, and that is the end of the matter for now.

Certificate of the Keeper

Let it be known to all persons, mariners, and interested gulls that the fog attending this batch was observed by the undersigned from the lamp room, and found to be genuine fog of the harbor, of proper thickness, with no artificial mist, stage smoke, nor imported vapors whatsoever.

"Fog: genuine. Tin: present. — K."

Entry reproduced in full from the keeper's log

The keeper is a man of few words. He has a lighthouse to run. The Corporation asked for a fuller endorsement and received the above a second time, in the same hand, slightly larger.

The Curing Report

Current batch

No. 7

Curing since

The winter before you asked

Fog quality

Genuine

Status

Not ready

Serving Suggestions, When the Day Comes

On a cracker. In the rain. Facing the harbor.
Shared with a colleague who did you a good turn and won't hear thanks for it.
Alone, at the window, while the horn goes. Two longs and a short between bites.
Offered to a cat, as a courtesy, from a respectful distance.

Each tin includes the key. Patience sold separately.