Station KNUT · 740 kilocycles · The Voice of the Bay
Broadcasting from high atop the Sycamore Building — nine floors, four of which exist.
Our Featured Presentation
The Adventures of Maisie Ardilla, P.I.
"The latest dirt from the dirtiest town this side of Walnut Creek."
A detective serial in the grand manner: one small squirrel with a magnifying glass she does not need, a town where it is always raining, and a flying squirrel who owns everything but the weather. Recorded before a live foghorn.
Presented by the Amalgamated Sundries Corporation · Look for the owl on the label
This Week on KNUT
| Hour | Program |
|---|---|
| 7:00 | The Tide Tables, Read Plainly The most useful true thing we know. It doesn't have a voice; we lend it one. |
| 7:15 | ACORNMOUTH — The Adventures of Maisie Ardilla, P.I. Our featured presentation. Wipe your feet. |
| 8:00 | Two Longs & a Short Musical requests for the fog-bound. Dedications read slowly, twice. |
| 8:30 | The Rhubarb Hour With a lady of the second row. Ribbon results are final. |
| 9:00 | Sermons for the Perpetually Rained-On Nondenominational. Umbrella check at the door; the checkroom is insured. |
| 9:30 | The Dance Orchestra Wednesdays: waltzes only, by particular request of a mole. |
| 10:00 | The Open Window The horn. All night. Every night. Not a program — we simply leave the microphone by the window. |
Our Sponsors
The programs of this network are made possible by the divisions of the Amalgamated Sundries Corporation,
whose relationship to this network our attorneys describe as "circular, but lawful."
"The Breakfast of Gumshoes."
Enlist at the Booth →Open · The demonstration box has been eaten; another was found
"The match you can strike twice."
Consult the FAQ →Open · The first strike is spoken for
"Now with 40% more nerve."
Take the Examination →Open · Certification pending, nerve genuine
"Aged in genuine harbor fog."
Inquire After the Batch →Open · The sardines are not ready
"The lemon is implied."
Visit the Stand →Not a division of anything — we checked. This plaque appeared overnight. We are looking into it.
The Listeners' Subscription League
This network accepts no outside money from its sponsors. Our sponsors are our own divisions.
The arithmetic was examined and found to be soothing.
The Acornmouth Broadcasting Company is kept on the air the only honest way left: by listeners like you.
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